Mike is Back!

well, it's been ages i guess.
never mind that, the best part is that i am back on blogging.
so here i go with some random 'handi' clicks. :d

as for me... am awaiting for my semester results,
which will be disclosed on the next Sunday.
wish me luck and i have my expectations.:D

btwn, am gonna do my theory test for the driving license.
so, gotta rush.
and am glad that i am back now.

hope there wont be any complaints:D
and if there is, well, i am sorry.

I Beg You!

mom,

why is everything has to be like this?
why do you always believe what others has to say about us?
why do you think of us like that?

please do not give up on us this soon!
you have fought it for this long..
why cannot you hang to your little ones another couple years?
why cannot you at least trust us?
why cannot you take our word for something?

what makes you think we do not love you?
what gives you the idea that we want you out?
which of our acts imply that we want you no more?
does any of our conduct towards you shows we are burdened by your presence?

please mom, i beg you.
please understand us.
please judge us only by your reasons.
please do not do things which would weaken our strength.
please bond us in your ultimate love.

Just Trust Me!

trust me, mom. i will make you proud.
do not worry about the many times i spend out.
it's for good and it is to color your dreams.
just believe in me, and have faith in me on this.

i may go hungry for hours, but it will only strengthen my determination.
four more years and i will be done.
in about 1460 days i will be there for you
to tend to your needs
to care for you
and to look after you

i wont fail like my brothers and sisters
this is a promise to which i will hold to,
till the very end.

Warning! A Mighty Disaster is Expected!

i act weird these days.
seems like am the only college student who roam around there
without heading home throughout the day.
normally i would avoid home at any cost
i would chose to be away from there till every one is soundly asleep.

there are my reasons.
i am frightened.
i am dreading the coming disaster.
i think i can feel the magnitude of it.
i feel like me and my family or rather what is left of it might not survive.
i do not want to let go of anyone.
dammit, the last thing i would want is multitude of problems at this stage of my life.

i think i have temper problems.
but then anyone who lives a life like mine is deemed to be.
damn, this is not how i want it.
is not there going to be a true ending?
everything is supposed to be ending happily-ever-after
but that is far from reality.

too much to lose.
everything is at stake.
my life is in jeopardy.
we are going to be ruined.
life might not be normal anymore.
aarghhhhh
seriously, family crap stinks.

i want to go away.
i wish i can fly away.
i long for everything to be normal back again.

Think BIG

First let me thank David J. Schwartz, Ph. D,
for writing long but chewable books like 'The Magic of Thinking Big'
It is a real soul-mate for people who stagger on and hold back due some influence,
be it an emotional like a break-up,
health issue like having going through diabetics
and even big but inevitable family issues.

During our blossoming childhood, we all were carefree
and really 'mind-free' from all those craps the world has to offer.
For instance ask a child what would he/she become.
The ultimate and instant answer would be some big time high profession
which we as elder people tend to be astonished of.
Not that we are disappointed of what our children dream.
But because we have been failures of doing the same or alike.
Because we used to have the same 'egos' when we were child.
Yet in the long run we failed.

No body dare to ask ourselves why we failed.
That is the think point I am trying to emphasize here.
Why did we fail.
Why cannot we pursue our long time dream.
Why cannot we become what we wanted to be.

The truth is always bitter, right?

Nevertheless, you would have to face it at one time.
At one time you would be buried in your own guilt.
Believe me ignorance is not a bliss.
You might as well face it now.

You failed because you FAILED to BELIEVE in yourself.
Think back and think hard.
Admit it, You held back.
You thought you cannot do it.
You thought you are too weak to do it.
You thought you lack the intelligence.
Dammit, you thought others are better.
and that is how and why you failed.

Now I know there is nothing that stands between me and my dream.
I becoming a great lawyer like Husnu Suood.
Like Mohamed Nasheed.
Like Dr. Munawwar or Dr. Hassan Saeed and alike.

According to him, they are not 'super-intelligent nor super-perspective
nor super-anything else except super-confident.'

I will quote him again,
'It is well to respect the leader.
Learn from him.
Observe him. Study him.
BUT DO NOT WORSHIP HIM'

Believe in yourself and you will have what you want.
That is the morale.

Sorry for the long post.

'I Thought My Life is Settled!'

After higher secondary education, I joined Island Aviation Services as a passenger services assistant. It was the one I chose over three other job offers. It is true I got about 7+ each month. There was nothing else in my life during those days except going to airport and sleeping, getting ready for the next duty. I REALLY did not have any time for friends or family. No holidays, not even Eid or Friday if that matters. Indeed, I was very much committed to my job. I handled my customers with a playful smile and offered friendly services. They were happy. So was I.

Was I wrong in thinking that my life is settled at that point? Was I not right in imagining that my life is very well placed and paced? Was my attitude inappropriate when I chose to settle on the statement, 'I thought my life is settled'. I thought my world is full and I am living to the maximum. I mean, what the heck, I got a real one-time-job which I loved. I could hang on to it for the rest of my life.

But I turned to be wrong. My life was not settled, after all. I thought of the things I am missing only when my officemate, Ihusann attacked me emotionally and hit me with the reality. By the time he finished his theory of my life I was feeling really stupid and then only I realised what a pit I had made out of my life. Thank you Ihu.

My determination about my life and future weakened. My conviction staggered. Thus I chose to be out and grabbed the first opportunity at FSL, MCHE. And I really do not regret it. At least not yet. Now I have got a profession to work on. A dream to pursue on. A hard and challenging one.

Aargh! If only I chose something short!

So Long!

Sender: +960 778 00 00
Date n time: 17/01/2009 00:45:10
Message:
Your account balance is RF. 4.84. Please recharge to continue using the service.

It has been a very long time since this stupid message dropped in my inbox
More than 3 years I have been hiding from this horrible message of Dhiraagu.
This was one of the reason I got hold of a postpaid in the first place.
I never expected this one. Not now.

In fact, i thought I have learnt to live without this, until tonight.
I guess this message is just another way to remind me that I am using a prepaid once again, after so long.

I remember I used to suggest people to go for a postpaid every time they are out of credit and unable to make a call even if out of desperation.
Well, I am in the same boat now.
They and myself are in the same situation.

Believe me postpaid sucks... and...
Prepaid... STINKS!

Where Is The Label?

After lot of tots, tonight am deciding to put labels to my posts.
It happened to be a complain to some. I guess it wont be now.

There are some other reasons to it, of course.
I believe some in my family has got loads of tragic stories to tell.
In fact, I have been meaning to share those with my blog and you.
There are both hysterical and mysterious stories.

And the other reason is i am just thinking about putting my diary notes in here.
Time is of essence. No one knows what will happen to me or when it would happen.
I thought it would be a gr8 idea to reveal some or all of my dark secrets and worst fears.

Who knows? Keep looking..! I might publish my will in here or it could be my suicide note.. keke.. But that will happen only when and if i go totally insane.!